The other day, a student emailed to cancel his membership with me. He cited “personal reasons” and wrote in a manner that communicated that he didn’t want any resistance, so I didn’t ask for details or try to convince him to stay. He’d been a member from white to blue, and he never showed any indication that he might leave. He told me he enjoyed his time, complimented me on my jiu-jitsu, and said he was done.

I’m a little bummed because he was a good student and got along with everyone. I spent a few minutes speculating possible reasons, but then I just accepted it. It’s normal. People go through things, and whether it’s my fault or not, jiu-jitsu stops being important. The thing that bo thered me is that just last week, in a group talk, he said his passion for the art would keep him on the mat forever. This is the second time he’s quit training. The first time was before COVID and before meeting me.

While he likely won’t ever read this, in some way, I’m writing to him. Don’t stop training. Don’t think about quitting, and then quit. If the thought comes up, talk to your instructor. They want you there, and would likely be willing to do a lot to help you stay on the mat, whether it’s a tuition discount, a private session, etc.

Though I do know a couple of scumbag instructors, most just want you to train. And especially if it’s a financial issue, most would be willing to do something for you. I know of someone who not only gets a 50% discount, he still misses payments regularly.

If you simply don’t like the school or teacher or student body, then yes, it’s time to go.

But if it’s anything else, give your instructor the option to help.