It’s OK to hold conflicting ideas in your head at the same time. Street vs sport. Do both. Or side control vs mount. Both are good. Standing vs grounded: I typically say stand, but sometimes ground is right. Gi vs no-gi. Justice vs mercy. Us vs them.
Lately, I’ve been really curious about Greg Souders’s philosophy of “never drill” training. He’s adapting the ecological approach to learning to jiu-jitsu at his school, and apparently it’s working, as his champions have proved. But things like focus sparring are similar to the games that Souders teaches, so BJJ classes have been evolving.
The investor and essayist Paul Graham wrote an article called “Keep Your Identity Small”. It’s about how to have productive discussions, but it’s also useful as a reminder that the stronger you identify with a position, the harder it is to change.
If people can’t think clearly about anything that has become part of their identity, then all other things being equal, the best plan is to let as few things into your identity as possible.
Most people reading this will already be fairly tolerant. But there is a step beyond thinking of yourself as x but tolerating y: not even to consider yourself an x. The more labels you have for yourself, the dumber they make you.
Think about politics and religion. It’s ridiculous to choose a side in these matters because there’s good and bad in every side.
In a jiu-jitsu context, you can get a lot further if you let go of who you think you have to be, and who your instructor or tribe want you to be.
Recently, I spent some time talking to a black belt who’s traveled the world to train with several elite athletes and teachers, all names that BJJ nerds know. He told me he’d still consider Gracie University (disclosure: that’s where we were having this discussion) to be the best. He said there are some weaknesses, but overall, it’s at the top. I asked where he’d be if he had to go to #2, and he said B-Team. One is focused on self-defense and discourages competing, while the other is famous for its competitor founders.