Sometimes, the victory is not the tap or the escape. It can merely be that you survived a submission attempt and your partner got you with his follow up. If next time, you defend the second attack as well, you’re improving. You’ll get caught eventually, but if it takes your (better) partner more attempts each session, you’re doing better.

And offensively, maybe you didn’t get the tap, but you got a reaction. If you get your partner to work hard to defend when he typically just shrugs off your attacks, you’re getting better.

This morning, I had a black belt in an arm triangle. I’ve never caught him in this, but I do get to the position often. He’s usually relaxed, but lately, he’s having to work, so I know I’m getting a little closer. I got him to struggle and that’s a win for me.¹